


Drowning in the Riptide

by Baymax_13



Series: Finding You Was Easy [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: BAMF Pepper Potts, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flash Thompson Being A Jerk, Gen, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Parent Pepper Potts, Peter Parker Gets a Hug, Peter Parker Has Panic Attacks, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker calls Pepper Potts "Mom", Protective Pepper Potts, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:00:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24016327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baymax_13/pseuds/Baymax_13
Summary: Peter wakes up and immediately knows it's going to be a bad day. He goes to school anyway and has a less than stellar encounter with Flash. Mom!Pepper to the rescue!
Relationships: Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Michelle Jones, Peter Parker & Pepper Potts, Peter Parker & Pepper Potts & Tony Stark
Series: Finding You Was Easy [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1572709
Comments: 14
Kudos: 194





	Drowning in the Riptide

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, two updates in two days?! Me?! Impossible. 
> 
> So this story deals with some heavy references to depression and anxiety. A lot of the feelings Peter describes come from my own experiences, but mental illness is different with everybody. Either way, please be careful when reading and stay safe. 
> 
> Hope everyone's doing ok and staying healthy!
> 
> As always comments and kudos are appreciated :))

Peter

Peter woke up and knew immediately it wasn’t going to be a good day. The air around him seemed to be choking him, the weight on his chest so oppressive he felt like he couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. He couldn’t feel. 

These were the worst days. He could deal with the sadness, and the anger, and the guilt. But when he couldn’t feel anything, that’s when he was reminded of just how screwed up he truly was. 

He hated it. Hated how sitting up felt like running a marathon, how he felt cold all over even though he knew the temperature was the same as it’d been last night. He hated how there was this pressure behind his eyes that he couldn’t blink away. 

He got up regardless, grabbing his crutch and heading to the shower. It was a school day, and he wasn’t about to be more of a screw up by missing school and decathlon practice. It was bad enough that he was an unfeeling, stupid, piece of shit. He wasn’t about to let everyone down in more ways on top of that. 

Sometimes when he had days like this the shower helped a little. It didn’t take the weight off his chest but it cleared the pressure in his sinuses. Today wasn’t one of those days. If anything he felt worse after he was dressed and ready. Putting on his prosthetic leg had been akin to lifting a bus. And he would know. 

He sighed, heading to the kitchen for breakfast. Once he got there he saw it was just his mom making pancakes and remembered that his dad was away on a business trip until the next morning. He knew that made him upset, but all he could really feel was a twinge of disappointment. 

His mom gave him a small smile over the rim of her coffee cup and he gave her one back, forcing it out through sheer determination. No reason to worry her, God knows she had no reason to care as much as she did. 

They ate breakfast in silence, Pepper handling SI business from her tablet. When it was time for him to go she gave him a hug that he thought might have lasted a second longer than normal, but he couldn’t find the motivation to wonder about it. She kissed his forehead and wished him a good day. He thanked her and walked down the elevator into Happy’s waiting car. 

He knew it wasn’t going to be a good day. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pepper

“Tony, I’m worried. I know we have to trust him to make his own decisions and come to us, but he was so withdrawn at breakfast. You should’ve seen him.”

The other end of the phone line sounded like Tony was frazzled, running from place to place. “Pep, sweetheart, you know I would love nothing more than to wrap him up in a bubble until I find a way for him to never be sad again, but that’s just not healthy. The only way out is through right? Dr. Hawkes said -”

The redhead interrupted him. “I know what Dr. Hawkes said! I get it! But he’s my kid. I can’t be all logical about anything when he’s sad. I trust him, I just don’t trust the world with him.” She was frustrated, and tired. It had been hard to get to sleep last night without the comforting warmth of Tony beside her. He had actually been keeping a semi-regular sleep schedule since Peter had come to live with them, if only to set some kind of example. 

The line stilled. “I know love. I do. But a really wise woman once told me that all we could do was love him and be there for him. Everything else we have to trust he can handle on his own.”

Pepper sniffed, wiping at her eyes taking care to avoid her mascara. “She sounds like a smart woman.”

“Oh she is. Terrible taste in men though.” She could practically hear the smirk in the other man’s voice. 

“That’s for sure,” she snorted.

Tony turned serious again. “He’ll be alright Pep. You’ll see. And I’ll be back tomorrow morning ok?”

“Ok. Thanks Mr. Stark.”

“You’re welcome Mrs. Stark.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Peter

He managed to sludge his way through his first four periods with little incident besides Ned’s worried glances his way and MJ’s emotionless glares lasting longer than usual. He didn’t answer any questions in class like he usually did. He couldn’t have if he tried, anything that was being taught was going in one ear and out the other. It would’ve been frustrating if he could feel anything. It wasn’t like he wasn’t trying to take notes or listen, but the only thing his mind seemed capable of producing was a distant humming with the occasional interruption for his rampant self-hatred. 

Lunch was when his day went from not good to positively terrible. 

His adoption had been made public not long ago, mostly because his mom wanted to get ahead of the media storm so they would be able to place legal protections on Peter. He understood and agreed with the logic, but it unfortunately left Flash with enough envy to fire up his teasing into straight up harassment. 

“Hey Penis! What’s wrong? You sad that you were such a screw up even your aunt didn’t want you? What is this now, your tenth set of failed parents?”

That hurt, though less than it would have on any other day. He was almost grateful he couldn’t feel shit. Almost. 

Suddenly Ned was at his side, steadfast and loyal as always. “Leave him alone, Flash. You’re just jealous and bitter you got rejected from that Stark internship.”

Flash sneered. “The only thing I’m jealous of is the fact that Peter gets to call that hot piece of ass mommy. I mean, that’s a nice bitch. You ever try anything Penis?”

Everything stopped. Where there had been nothing there was suddenly red hot anger. His vision went practically white with fury. It was one thing to torment him, but as soon as Flash decided to bring his mom into it, he had crossed a line. 

Peter had no doubt that he would’ve decked him in the face, probably shattering his jaw if he didn’t hold back, but there was suddenly a hand on his chest. MJ looked at him without pity, jaw set, like she was expecting him to push against her. But he could never hurt MJ. 

His tunnel vision eased up, the anger deflating, leaving him feeling everything he hadn’t felt all day. It was like a flood so violent he couldn’t escape it. He thought maybe this was what it was like to be stuck in a riptide. Kicking up to find your breath only to be sucked back in again. He saw a teacher leading Flash away, he saw the whole cafeteria looking at the confrontation, he saw Ned, with his big, concerned eyes, he saw MJ, steadfast through it all. 

And he ran. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pepper

She was in a meeting with a delegate from Singapore when she got the call. MJ knew not to call her without texting first unless it was an emergency, so she calmly excused herself from the meeting and frantically answered the call in the hallway, already heading towards the garage for her car. 

“MJ, is Peter alright?” Her voice sounded a lot more sure than she felt at the moment. 

The younger girl tried to sound nonchalant, but Pepper could tell she was worried. “There was a bit of a confrontation at Lunch. Flash said some really nasty things, and I’m pretty sure Peter’s having a panic attack now. He’s locked the bathroom door though so we can’t get in.”

Pepper closed her eyes, taking the second to gather herself before she got in the car and sped off towards her son. “I’m on my way.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MJ and Ned stood up when they saw her approaching. The clicking of her heels would’ve been terrifying in any other situation, but they were both too worried about their friend to think about that. 

“Do you guys think we could have some privacy? Thank you so much for being there for him while I got here, but I don’t want him to feel overwhelmed.”

Both the teenagers nodded and reluctantly headed off to their classes. 

Pepper sat down on the hallway floor next to the door, rapping on it softly with her knuckles. “Baby I know you can hear me. You don’t have to come out if you don’t want to, but do you think you could knock on the door? Just so I know you’re ok.”

A few seconds passed and then there was a weak little thump. 

Pepper exhaled. At least he wasn’t too far gone. The worst panic attacks were the ones where nothing anyone said registered with him. 

“Thank you baby. That was really good. Whenever you wanna come out, I’m right here ok? We can go home and make some hot chocolate, watch How to Train Your Dragon. I know it’s your favorite even if you act like it’s for kids. We can order Thai food, how does that sound? We’ll facetime Dad and you can tell him all about the robot you’ve been building.” She kept a stream of nonsensical babbling going, mainly just focusing on keeping her tone mellow. Sometimes, there was nothing she could do except offer a distraction, as much as it pained her. 

Eventually, after a lot of gentle coaxing, the door to the bathroom opened. She stood up hastily, opening her arms as an invitation to the scared teen. 

It took less than a second for Peter to settle himself into the crook of her neck sobbing anew. She shushed him as one would a baby, running her fingers through his hair until he calmed again. 

“Let’s go home honey, how does that sound?”

Peter nodded, gripping her hand as if it was the only thing keeping him tethered. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She brought the two steaming mugs of hot chocolate to the couch where Peter was seated, staring blankly ahead. He looked up and took the mug from her when she offered, which she counted as a win. 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” she asked softly. 

The teen looked at her. “Do I have a choice?”

“Of course you do baby. I always think it’s better for you to get things off your chest, but if you don’t want to talk about it, we don’t have to talk about it.”

He put the mug down, curling in on himself. “I woke up this morning and I couldn’t feel anything.” He paused, looking up at her as if he expected to be judged. Pepper just offered her hand to him, letting him come to her. He took it, and she squeezed tightly. 

The teen continued. “And I hate when I can’t feel anything because all my brain can think to do is buzz and remind me how pathetic I am. And how I’m worthless, and unlovable. And I know that’s not true. Or… I’m learning anyway. But when it’s all you can think it’s hard to block it out.”

The redhead hummed in acknowledgement but didn’t interrupt, simply offering a reassuring squeeze again. 

“So it was already a bad day, and then Flash started saying really awful things. And when it was about me I was fine. But then he started to say things about you and I couldn’t -” A small sob escaped him. 

Pepper couldn’t help herself any longer, she scooped the kid up into her arms and rocked him like a child much smaller than he was. Pete didn’t seem to mind, soaking up the comfort he hadn’t yet grown accustomed to.  
“And I was going to punch him mom. I know I can’t do that because of my strength but I just couldn’t hear him talk about you like that. I would’ve done it if MJ hadn’t stopped me.” He looked up at her. “I’m sorry.”

She kissed her son on the forehead. “Pete don’t you dare apologize. You didn’t punch him, and besides he was bullying you. I would never tell you to use violence outside of avengers business, but I don’t blame you for wanting to. You do need to be more careful than regular kids, but you don’t have to do it alone. Today, MJ stopped you, and that just goes to show that you’ve surrounded yourself with good friends.”

He nodded, though apprehensively. He eventually continued. “And then, when I wasn’t angry anymore, I felt everything all at once. It was like… drowning. I was drowning, so I ran.”

They sat in silence for a bit, letting the conversation settle. Eventually, Pepper interrupted the quiet. “It’s ok to have bad days. Everyone has them, even if they don’t look exactly like yours. Tony locks himself in his workshop when he has a bad day. Rhodey calls me and we just sit on the phone in silence. I throw myself into my work and forget to take a breath. It’s alright. It’s ok to not always be ok.” She paused. “Next time you have a bad day Pete, don’t feel like you have to go to school. If it’s what you need then that’s ok, but if you can’t do it for that day, all you have to do is say so. You don’t have to explain, just say ‘bad day and I’ll understand, no questions asked. So will your dad. We never want you to feel like you have to do anything that harms you in any way.”

“Thanks mom, I think I might take you up on that,” said the young brunet. “And um… thank you for coming to get me today.”

She looked at her kid with the adoration only a mother could muster. “Anytime baby.”


End file.
